40 Classroom Jokes for Teachers

A quick joke is one of the easiest classroom tools there is: it wakes up a sleepy room, smooths a transition and makes students feel welcome. These forty are sorted by subject, all clean and all short enough to read while worksheets go round.

Math jokes

1. Why was the equal sign so humble? It knew it wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
2. What did the triangle say to the circle? “You’re pointless.”
3. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
4. Why did the student do her multiplication on the floor? The teacher said not to use tables.
5. What’s a math teacher’s favorite season? Sum-mer.
6. Why should you never argue with a 90-degree angle? It’s always right.
7. What did zero say to eight? “Nice belt!”

Science jokes

8. Why are chemists great at solving problems? They have all the solutions.
9. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? “You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.”
10. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
11. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one-molar solution.
12. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
13. Why did the biologist love casual Fridays? She could wear designer genes.
14. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A mean-o acid.

Teaching forces this term? Follow the laughs with Phyclub’s plain-English guide to Newton’s laws of motion.

English and reading jokes

15. What’s the longest word in the dictionary? “Smiles,” because there’s a mile between the first and last letters.
16. What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words? A thesaurus.
17. Why did the comma break up with the apostrophe? It was too possessive.
18. Why is the letter A like a flower? Because a B comes after it.
19. Why did the student bring a ladder to school? She wanted to go to high school.
20. How does a book keep warm? It wears a jacket.

History and geography jokes

21. Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages? There were so many knights.
22. Where did kings and queens keep their armies? Up their sleevies.
23. How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars.
24. Why is the Mississippi River so rich? It has two banks.
25. What’s the smartest state? Alabama. It has four A’s and one B.
26. What did Delaware? Her New Jersey.

Music, art and PE jokes

27. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
28. Why was the musician in trouble? He kept getting into treble.
29. Why did the art student take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains.
30. Why did the soccer ball quit the team? It was tired of being kicked around.
31. Why are basketball players such messy eaters? They’re always dribbling.

Lunch and recess jokes

32. What’s the best thing to put in a sandwich? Your teeth.
33. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
34. Why did the playground slide visit the doctor? It was feeling a little run down.

Jokes about teachers (that teachers love)

35. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Her students were so bright.
36. Why did the teacher write on the window? She wanted the lesson to be really clear.
37. What do teachers snack on? Grammar crackers.
38. Why did the teacher go to the beach? To test the water.
39. How do teachers stay cool in summer? They sit next to their fans.
40. Why did the teacher get an eye test? She couldn’t control her pupils.

How to use jokes in class

Keep it kind: jokes should never target a student, and shy children can pass or have a friend read for them. For more material, try our clean jokes for kids, puns that actually land and math riddles and logic puzzles.

Frequently asked questions

Do jokes help in the classroom?

Many teachers find that a short, kind joke eases nerves, builds rapport and resets attention between activities. Keep it quick so it energizes the lesson rather than replacing it.

What grade are these jokes for?

Most work from kindergarten through middle school. The chemistry and history jokes land best with older students, who enjoy explaining them to younger siblings.