40 Halloween Jokes for Kids and Grown-Ups

Halloween jokes should be spooky, silly and never actually scary. These forty are clean enough for a kindergarten party and punny enough to make grown-ups groan at the door.

Ghost jokes

1. What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
2. Why did the ghost ride the elevator? To lift its spirits.
3. What do ghosts eat for dessert? I scream.
4. Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store.
5. What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide-and-shriek.
6. Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them.
7. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries.

Skeleton jokes

8. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.
9. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
10. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? For the spare ribs.
11. What do skeletons say before they eat? “Bone appétit!”
12. Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
13. Why did the skeleton climb the tree? A dog was after his bones.

Vampire jokes

14. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
15. Why do vampires always seem sick? They’re always coffin.
16. Why don’t vampires have many friends? They’re a pain in the neck.
17. Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
18. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangsgiving.
19. What kind of dog does a vampire have? A bloodhound.

Witch jokes

20. Why do witches ride brooms? Vacuum cleaner cords are too short.
21. What do you call two witches who live together? Broommates.
22. What’s a witch’s favorite subject? Spelling.
23. How do you make a witch itch? Take away the W.
24. What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
25. What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch.

Monster and mummy jokes

26. Why did the mummy go on vacation? It needed to unwind.
27. What kind of music do mummies love? Wrap music.
28. Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.
29. What do you call a werewolf who doesn’t know it’s a werewolf? An unaware-wolf.
30. How do monsters like their eggs? Terri-fried.
31. What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A human bean.

Pumpkin jokes

32. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
33. Who helps little pumpkins cross the road? The crossing gourd.
34. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
35. What did the pumpkin say on November 1? “Thank gourd that’s over.”

Halloween knock-knock jokes

36. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Phillip. Phillip who? Phillip my bag with candy, please!
37. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you wants to trick-or-treat?
38. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
39. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
40. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howl. Howl who? Howl you know unless you open the door?

Little ones love the call-and-response of these; find forty more in our knock-knock jokes for kids.

Halloween joke ideas

• Joke-or-treat. At a party, kids tell a joke to earn a treat. Keep a jar of joke cards for shy guests to pick from.
• Candy-bowl jokes. Tape a joke to each treat you hand out at the door.
• Pumpkin punchlines. Write a joke’s setup on one side of a small pumpkin and the punchline on the back.
• Costume one-liners. Match a joke to each costume: a vampire gets the neck-tarine, a witch gets the sand-witch.
• Riddles in the dark. Take turns reading what am I? riddles by flashlight.

For a sleepover after the trick-or-treating, pair these with the spooky stories written for kids from Terrible Stories: shivers, but nothing that keeps anyone up all night.

Frequently asked questions

Are these Halloween jokes too scary for little kids?

No. They’re silly, not scary: ghosts, skeletons and pumpkins with no gore or real frights, fine for preschoolers and up.

What’s a good Halloween joke for a card or lunchbox?

Short ones work best. “What do ghosts eat for dessert? I scream!” fits on a sticky note. Planning ahead for winter? Our Christmas jokes for kids are ready when you are.